Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Holy Spirit. Amen. Please be seated.
[00:00:05] I remember reading the book Dead Man Walking. Anybody read that book or see the movie right, by Sister Helen Projean. In this book, in the movie, she talks and writes about a killer, Patrick, and the father of its victim, Lloyd LeBlanc.
[00:00:23] And this is what Sister Helen Projean wrote. Quote, Lloyd LeBlanc has told me that he would have been content with imprisonment for Patrick. He went to the execution, he says, not for revenge, but hoping for an apology.
[00:00:37] Patrick had not disappointed him.
[00:00:39] Before sitting in the electric chair, he had said, Mr. LeBlanc, I want to ask your forgiveness for what me and Eddie done. And Lloyd LeBlanc had nodded his head, signaling a forgiveness he had already given.
[00:00:52] He says that when he arrived with the sheriff's deputies there in the cane field to identify his son, he had knelt by his boy, laying down there with his two little eyes sticking out like bullets, and prayed the our Father.
[00:01:06] And when he came to the words, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, he said he had not vaulted or equivocated. And he said, whoever did this, I forgive them.
[00:01:20] She goes on to write, but he acknowledges that it's a struggle to overcome the feelings of bitterness and revenge that well up, especially as he remembers David's birthday year by year and loses him all over again.
[00:01:36] David at 20, David at 25, David getting married. David standing at the back door with his little ones clustered around his knees, grown up David, a man like himself, whom he will never know.
[00:01:49] Forgiveness is never going to be easy. Each day it must be prayed for and struggled for and won. End quote.
[00:01:59] Why is that?
[00:02:01] Why is forgiveness so hard, so complex?
[00:02:04] Brother David Stendel, Roster, Benedictine, once gave a talk about modern culture. He said, we are a culture of takers. We take showers, breaks, rides, vacations, classes, jobs, walks, spouses, exercise.
[00:02:20] Our language mirrors our materialism.
[00:02:23] One of our major difficulties, according to Brother David, is the ease and readiness with which we take offense and the tremendous tenacity we have when asked to let it go, to forgive, end quote.
[00:02:38] When we hold onto our hurts or offenses, we give ourselves an edge over the person that hurt us. There's a debt involved here. Just as we heard in the parable this morning, the one who offended us owes us. And we gain a moral edge over those that offended or hurt us.
[00:02:55] We hold onto the hurts because forgiveness means giving up that moral edge that we acquire when we're wronged. When we forgive, we're put back on equal footing with the person that offended or hurt us.
[00:03:08] And when the pain is deep when the pain is deep, the road to forgiveness is long.
[00:03:15] In the March to April 1999 edition of the Utne Reader yes, I'm of the age where I like to clip out magazine articles and file them away for future use.
[00:03:28] I pulled this one out.
[00:03:30] I had a memory of it, so I found it pretty easily.
[00:03:34] There was an author, Stephanie Doric notes that quote, forgiveness deeply offends the rational mind.
[00:03:41] When someone has hurt us, wounded us, abused us, when someone has stolen peace of mind or safety from us, when someone has harmed or taken the life of someone we love, or when someone has simply misunderstood or offended us, there is no reason why we should let go of that offense.
[00:04:02] No reason why we should let go of that offense, no reason why we should try to understand it.
[00:04:08] No reason why we should hope for enlightenment for that person.
[00:04:12] No reason why, from our own pain and darkness we should summon feelings of compassion and insight for that person as well as for ourselves.
[00:04:21] As challenging as it is, forgiveness may be the supreme virtue, the deification of love.
[00:04:29] For it declares, I will attempt to go on loving the life in you, or the divine in you, or the soul in you, even when I totally abhor a b h o r abhor what you have done and what you stand for.
[00:04:44] What's more, I will attempt to see you as my equal, and your life is having equal value to mine, my own, even when I despise what you do and everything you stand for.
[00:04:55] This, of course, is awesome. To translate into practice in emotional terms, it's Everest without oxygen, Wimbledon without a racket, and La Scala without a score.
[00:05:08] Well, there is a reason to forgive, and there is a guide to put forgiveness into practice. We heard it in the Gospel lesson this morning. The overriding gospel reason for forgiveness is to replicate the incredible generosity of God.
[00:05:22] And I'm talking about forgiveness here, not reconciliation.
[00:05:26] Reconciliation requires mutuality.
[00:05:30] Gospel forgiveness is something the offended or hurt person chooses to do, regardless of the offender's attitude or change of behavior.
[00:05:41] The offender can go on being a jerk, right?
[00:05:46] The offended can forgive that person and move on.
[00:05:49] When we forgive in this way, we begin to embody, however dimly, the unceasing love that lifted the prodigal son off his feet, the incredible love that left the 99 to seek the 1 lost sheep, the awesome love that paid the workers who showed up at the last hour, the same wage paid to those who showed up at daybreak.
[00:06:10] Jesus says to forgive 70 times 7.
[00:06:14] When we don't forgive, we postpone our own healing to forgive someone, that often may teach us to grow, to grow from reluctant appeasers to creative peacemakers. To sow love, we need the power of the Holy Spirit. For you see, the capacity to let go comes as a gift of grace. The gift of grace which enables us to put on the mind of Christ and empowers others to radically transform their lives.
[00:06:43] You know, Jesus seemed able to forgive people instantaneously.
[00:06:48] While Jesus took on our human nature, he also embodied the wideness of God's mercy and love in his ability to forgive.
[00:06:56] Some people have a wonderful capacity to let go of hurts and move on without the blinking of an eye.
[00:07:03] God bless them.
[00:07:05] That's not me.
[00:07:07] It takes more time.
[00:07:09] And it may not be for you. It might not be for some of you as well.
[00:07:13] For many of us, forgiveness is not easy.
[00:07:16] Our pain and resentment do not melt away like the morning mist, nor should they. The hurt needs to be named. The trauma needs to be owned. The wounds need to be felt without rushing to the other side. A jump into the lap of cheap forgiveness that offers little more than temporary relief and a backlash of hurt later on.
[00:07:37] But I think that this is something that we all struggle with and we're all working towards, working towards the ability to be able to forgive as Jesus forgave and as God forgives and loves each and every one of us.
[00:07:51] Forgiveness also is not about denial.
[00:07:54] True forgiveness for most of the people most of the time is not quick and easy. It's not a once and for all experience, but an on again, off again roller coaster of emotions.
[00:08:05] As Lloyd LeBlanc showed, the feelings of forgiveness come and go.
[00:08:09] Some days are better than others. But the point is that he made the decision to stay open, to want to let go, to keep an open heart, even if he felt otherwise.
[00:08:20] Especially at those haunting moments when he felt incredible hate for the murderer of his son.
[00:08:26] This made up the essence of his forgiveness.
[00:08:33] Forgiving others does not mean we give up taking care of ourselves. This is really important.
[00:08:38] Forgiveness does not mean that someone remains in a hurtful or abusive relationship. Nor does forgiveness do away with the need for healthy boundaries.
[00:08:47] Forgiveness is no dumbing down of the disciple. On the contrary, forgiveness is the wising up into healthy self care.
[00:08:56] A behavior that goes a long way toward opening the eyes of the offending party.
[00:09:01] Toleration of abuse only breeds more of it.
[00:09:04] Consequences need to be real for pathological behavior to be stopped.
[00:09:10] In the struggle we have as human beings with forgiveness, there is one thing that remains true.
[00:09:17] One thing we have to remember.
[00:09:19] Jesus, who walked this earth and felt the heat of the sun on his face, who felt hunger and love, just like we do, also felt the sting of hurts inflicted by others.
[00:09:30] And through that, Jesus was able to forgive, to love, to put on equal footing with him those who harmed him.
[00:09:39] And we're asked to do the same. We're asked to let go of the hurt, to put the person that offended us or hurt us back on equal footing with ourselves, and start the process of our own inner healing of the herd.
[00:09:52] In the Holy Communion, we will share at this Walter in just a few moments, Jesus will nourish us with the grace to forgive 70 times 7. Amen.
